Judy Galbraith states, "Perfectionism is never a good thing. What's good is the pursuit of excellence, which is not the same. Gifted kids (and their parents and teachers) often get the two confused. Pefectionism means you can NEVER fail, you ALWAYS need approval and if you come in second, you're a loser. The pursuit of excellence means taking risks, trying new things, growing, changing, improving, striving to meet standards...and sometimes failing."
Ways to help
• Create a safe environment where it's okay to make mistakes.
• Share stories about famous inventors, scientists, writers, athletes who experienced many failures before their great successes. For example, Babe Ruth struck out 1330 times but also made 714 home runs.
• Help your child set realistic goals and have realistic expectations.
• Help your child experience trying new things that he/she may not do perfectly but can still enjoy.
• Praise your child for taking a risk, for trying out new ideas, for persisting in spite of failure.
• Help your child see the joy in learning and feel the satsifaction of learning without having to be graded or judged.
• Help your child set priorities. Some parts of a job don't need to be done at the same level of excellence as others. For example, printing their name in caligraphy on their math test or essay isn't a good use of their time. Doing the math reasoning/creating their essay is what should be their focus.
• Help your child learn to take criticism as a way of improving not personal attack. Positive criticism can include "So, you made a mistake. How can you learn from it?" "This was a hard assignment. What can you do to improve your understanding for next time?" "You really learned a lot about this complex subject. Making a B on this assignment was quite an achievement."

Judy Galbraith discusses teasing that may occur with gifted children in her book, You Know Your Child Is Gifted When.... She offers some suggestions for helping your child handle teasing. Below are some of those suggestions.
• Really listen to your child, and don't say teasing is normal.
• Acknowledge and validate your child's feelings. For example, "I know it hurts when kids call you names."
• Find out the details of the teasing, and offer your child ideas as to how to handle it without violence or tears. For example, your child can say "I don't like it when you...." and walk away.
• Involve the teacher and school if teasing doesn't stop or gets worse.

Judy Galbraith explains, "Sometimes gifted kids find it hard to get along with others their own age because their vocabularies are more advanced, their interests are more sophisticated, intense and diverse, and they may have limited tolerance and tact." Ways to help them make friends include the following.
• Help them find appropriate peers: children with similar interests, abilities, and talents. Sometimes that may be children younger, the same age or older.
• Involve your child in activities they enjoy and that have mixed-aged groups, both in and out of school.
• Help your child learn tolerance for others who may not think as quickly nor have their same interests.
• Help your child become more aware of how words and attitudes can hurt others even when not meant to be hurtful.
• Sometimes gifted children need help letting others tell their ideas and in following others' ideas.

Carolyn Coil provides some suggestions in Practical Tips for Parents.
* Help your child recognize his/her own strengths and weaknesses.
* Help your children develop positive self-talk. Children's feelings about themselves are influenced by their own self-awareness, their parents, their friends, and other adults in their lives.
* Recognize and help your child recognize those things he does well and build on them.
* Give sincere praise that points out observable strengths.
* Help your child see areas she can improve in (no one is perfect), and help her set goals to improve.
* Help your child reward himself for completing a task or reaching a goal.
* Avoid put-downs or sarcasm when correcting your child. Sarcasm can cause life-time wounds.
* Collect and share success stories of self-motivated people. Point out characteristics common to your child.